Choices

2 Nephi 2:23-25 explains that because of the actions of Adam and Eve, every being on this earth has the chance to learn and grow, to experience pain and joy and to gain a body to create a family unit. This action led to our current state. We would no be here if it were not for their choices. We would not be able to participate in marriage, bringing children into the world and learning from our actions. We have this wonderful life to spend learning and growing with our spouse, to become close and to learn all that we can of each other. In this life, there will be pain but there will also be happiness.

When we put the Lord first, we are able to withstand the trials and temptations that come our way in marriage. In Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage(Goddard, 2009) Dr Goddard talks about how having Faith in the Lord in marriage can give the couple a "Eternal Perspective"(pg, 57). The Lord has given us trial in life to build us up and to help us become like Him. When we face them challenges with a heart turned to the Lord, we are able to grow and become closer to our spouse. Our Ftaher in Heaven did not decide to send us to this earth to hurt us. We are here to become better ourselves and to build a bond between husband and wife that will last through the eternities.

In his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work(Gottman, 2015) Dr Gottman explains that when trials come up in marriage, we need to make sure to communicate with our spouse and give each other the chance to vent and verbalized challenges even when we are not quite comfortable with it. When our spouse needs to talk, we need to make sure that we are ready to listen and that all of our focus is on them. We cannot help anyone who is struggling by trying to solve the problems because those problems are their's, not ours and we cannot help if we are butting in and saying what we think is best. We should make it our focus to ensure that the spouse knows that "When you are in pain, the world stops and I listen"(pg, 103). The best way to focus on your spouse while they need you to listen is to be Christlike. Be warm and comforting, listen to help build them up and let them open up and always take their side. Dr Gottman says that we need to "Take our spouses side by ...expressing support even if you think his or her perspective is unreasonable"(pg, 100).

When Christ was on the earth, He did not shame those who sinned, He was here to heal those in need and to teach and listen. The Lord gave us the perfect example on how to love one another and take their side in times of trouble. Serving our spouses through listening and putting their needs before ours will ultimately lead to a better marriage and build an unbreakable bond that will be the foundation to help us withstand trials that come our way. The choice is ours to be selfless and to center our focus and faith in the Lord. Our marriage will be stronger if we make the choice to put the Lord and our spouse above our needs and to always try to better the relationship in all ways with both of them.